She also loves me, so the two of us tend to gang up on The Boss. He never wins. It's fantastic. I've tried to explain that while I am 110% on his side for business, I am not an idiot. I know which side my bread is buttered on ... and it's hers. As long as she is happy and loves me, then I am golden.
Here is an example of the conversation we had today via email ... she is hilarious, and definitely knows how to keep him in line.
First, let's start with this morning. I received an email from her asking if I would make sure that the things he had been carrying around in his car all week got taken car of today. About half an hour later, I was involved in a hilarious conference call with them where he was trying to show her how he was being proactive on remembering his tasks. And instead he discovered we had already been in contact about it because she knew he would not do it on his own. He was pouty mad; he knew we'd gotten the best of him. After declaring his hatred of us and hanging up laughing, I assumed he would remember.
He didn't. I had to remind him later. He went to retrieve the necessary paperwork out of the car, I went to make coffee. I came back to my desk to find a random assortment of paperwork clipped together on my desk with no notes or instructions. A Home Depot receipt, his marriage certificate and a life insurance name change form. Oooookay. Knowing that asking him was useless, I went to her to find out. And then I took care of things.
About an hour later, The Boss comes in and asks me to "work my magic" to get his allowance increased. Yes. Allowance. This tiny, adorable woman has neutered him by claiming his bank cards. See .. he has a thing tonight and he wanted to get cigars. She's no dummy. She knew this. And she HATES cigars. So, she thwarted his plan by getting him to relinquish his card. Which he did. Willingly. Because he didn't think ahead and is basically spineless when it comes to her. Anyway, allowance. Cue hysterical laughter from me. This is the conversation that followed.
Me: If there are typos it's because I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes.
The boss just asked me to email you and make an official request
for an increase in his
allowance.
I have been informed that he had to relinquish his cards to
you … and now I am laughing
even harder. I am supposed to "work my
magic" and get him more cash.
A. he really is like a big child
B. he obviously still doesn't understand that while I
am on his side in the office, I am decidedly
not on his side outside of the
office.
Bless his heart. I cant' decide whether he deserves
pity or not.
Mrs. Boss: No pity....request denied.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Internal message between me and The Boss:
(11:52) QoE: i regret to inform you that your request for extra allowance has been denied by The Powers That Be. Furthermore, TPTB have stated there is "no pity" for your moneyless plight.
(11:52) QoE: it's unfortunate that i find this so damn amusing
(11:53) The Boss: she is such a Tyrant
(11:53) QoE: definitely not a benevolent dictator. but you do need a firm hand to keep you in line
(11:54) The Boss: i will go on strike and withhold my Devilish Charm !!!! That will teach her
(11:54) QoE: yeah. i bet it will.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me: Well … he has threatened to go
on strike against the tyrant, withholding his, and I quote,
Devilish Charm.
With the caveat that "that
will teach her"
He's really just digging his own
grave now. poor simple minded man.
Mrs. Boss: I'm
shaking from my throne.....not.
Me: I totally love you.
*big cursty, kiss the ring, no eye contact*
I do love my job. Seriously. The daily comedic antics keeps me sane.
No comments:
Post a Comment