Facebook - what's the line between okay and just creepy?

Most people have old friends and classmates coming out of the woodwork to friend them on Facebook. Not me. Which is actually okay, and a little bit funny.

I mean, I make no secret about the fact that I was a Super Bitch in high school. And well, I sorta still am. My general rule has been: I wasn't friends with you then, I don't care about you know. So yeah, no one really goes out of their way to friend me. And I don't really friend request either.

That doesn't mean I don't get curious. See, I have this memory that remembers all kinds of stuff. I can tell you the names and plots of books I read in 5th grade. All my teacher's names, back to pre-school. And a large number of classmates names from then too. And sometimes my brain kicks in and I wonder about that girl I was friends with in 3rd grade, or that guy in my history class from 8th grade. Sometimes I will search a name and see if I find them, just out of curiosity. Especially elementary school. I remember all those kids, but for the most part, after 6th grade, I never saw them again. We went to different junior high/high schools and that was that.

I've had a friend tell me that someone she had gone to school with in like 3rd grade had found her on Facebook and how cool it was that they reconnected, etc. And that got me thinking ... what's the line? When is that cool and when is it creepy?

I mean, what do you say to these people?

Hey there Jennifer? Remember me? We went to elementary school together. I spent a weekend at your house once. I remember passing out flyers at the strip mall with you and your siblings protesting Liquor By The Drink in our town. I didn't even know that that meant since I was only 11. You had a weenie dog named Pooh Bear and I thought he was super cool, and to this day I am a dachshund lover. I thought it was cool that your dad was famous but still answered the door in his bathrobe and cowboy boots. And that stuffed cougar or whatever it was in your den scared the crap out of my mom. So, what's new with you?

Or ...

Hi Chris! We went to school together. I remember that you were super smart and skipped at least one grade. You always used to wear that stupid t-shirt with a teddy bear on it - something from that show MASH. Radar maybe? Anyway, I figure you are either like an astrophysicist with a giant brain, or a dishwasher at a Denny's after your total mental breakdown. Which is it? I may have money on it. Hope you are doing well!

You probably don't remember me. We were in band together. Not that we were friends. Everyone pretty much tormented you. How could we not really. I mean, you went by Lenny. That's just asking for a beating in those formative junior high years. I hear you are like super rich now or something. Cool. Glad you turned that whole bullying thing around in your favor. Take care!

Hey there crazy back stabby frienemy from high school? I hear you've been married at least 3 times. Yeah, apparently you are just as batshit crazy as your psycho mom with her multiple personalities. I hope to God (and Buddha, and Allah ... hell, throw in Zeus and Athena too for good measure) that you haven't reproduced. So, what's new with you?



See ... that's just creepy. Why would these people want to be my friends? Why would I want to be friends with someone that I haven't seen since before puberty? It's just weird. Or maybe it's just me.

Then there are the people that you try to find, but they just aren't anywhere. Those really intrigue me. Are they alive? How can there just be no trace of them at all? What are they hiding? These thoughts run around in my head sometimes. Cause I am nuts like that.

It's no wonder people are afraid to friend me. I am a little scary.