So, here we sit, at the Haus Of Eville, watching the flood waters rise around us. The wieners are not pleased. We have a no pee/poop ban until water goes away. Fun times. The Minion is oblivious.

We've had rain before, but never flooding like this. I am not into it at all. Partly because I just know our crawlspace is flooding ... and if we have a tornado, this is where we have to go.

See, POF has his Evacuation Plan for danger. And it involves crawling under the house. Cause we really don't have a safe place inside. Technically, the safe room would be the front bathroom. Except that it has a window and a giant ass mirror. Hello flying death shards. Not cool.

And my claustrophobia is not gonna be into climbing in a tiny ass closet with another adult, a small child and two weenie dogs. No thank you - I will be huddled under the flying death shards. Better yet, I will just go stand up on the hill with a big metal pole and wait for what comes.

So, the Plan. We are supposed to grab our prepacked supplies, leash the hounds (in their storm ready harnesses, of course), grab the Minion, and traipse outside, around the house, and to the door that goes under the house. Then, we are supposed to hop down into the space - which isn't really a crawl space, you can sorta stand bent over - bringing the dogs, supplies and kids with us. And it's dark down there. And dirty. With dirt. Or mud. And water. And did I mention the dark. Probably bugs. Crawly bugs. Shudder. I do not like this plan.

The Mother of Evil entered us in a local contest to win a storm shelter. Nice thought. Except that she made me watch the video about it. It goes under the floor of your garage, and it is approx. 6 feet wide and 12 feet long. It's basically a big metal coffin. It looked like crawling into the cockpit of a fighter jet. Or an Indy car. Uh, no thank you. Again, flying death shards for me, thanks.

My 80 year old grandfather, however, will not be deterred. I love him, don't get me wrong. But he thinks it's like 1950 or something. No concept of the present world dangers. He doesn't watch the news. Refuses to even discuss the fact that one block away is the crack riddled gang land of his area. Because his street is still the same. Mother of Evil and I get very frustrated.

We're in like Level 3 Apocalypse Watch here. Roads are flooded and closed. Trees and power lines down. Just craziness. The mayor of Nashvegas released a statement this morning telling everyone to stay home and not go out unless it was an emergency.

So what does my Granddaddy do ... he goes to church. Told Mother of Evil that there were "some logs in the road, so we had to go the long way around". Logs in the road. Mom sees footage of the area on TV, and the mall area is totally flooded and there are whole trees down. Whole entire trees and flooded parking lots. Scary. And my grandfather is all "La De Da, some logs in the road, La De Da".

Of course his church didn't cancel services, though most others did. But I won't get into that. He's home safe, and hopefully staying there. He's one that will go out and try to get across it, through it, etc. just to see if he can. Makes me nuts. He thinks I overreact.

I can't believe the idiots that are still out driving around, like it's no big deal. People, the interstates are FLOODED and closed in places. One local news station has 6 inches of water on their ground floor. The children's hospital has water in their lobby. This is serious. Stay the hell home. Duh.

Then again, go ahead and get out in it. Maybe your dumb ass will get swept away to a far away land. Sorta a survival of the fittest situation. And this Darwin fish is taking its little feet and running to higher ground.