I generally try to avoid putting much stuff about work on here, because, let's face it, we try to present some sort of almost professional façade to the people we deal with. If they knew the truth about the ridiculous things that happen here, we'd be screwed. But, this little email exchange with one of the guy's wives was just too awesome not to share.
Said co-worker has been complaining about this hideous place on his back for weeks now. It could be nothing, it could be life threatening ... he's taking the ignore it and hope it goes away approach. But he always mentions it when he thinks about it. Thus the following email exchange took place this morning:
Me: Your husband has a festering wound on his right shoulder blade area. Possibly a
spider bite. It's been there for like 3 weeks now, and it's not going away. He
forgets to say something to you every day, but is now harboring resentment that
you haven't somehow magically cured it. Because he's an idiot.
So,
if you think about it this weekend, take a look at it, possibly poke at it with
something sharp and pain causing, and then slap some Neosporin on that bad
boy.
Otherwise I might have to resort to office surgery … and I have been
dying to try
that for YEARS.
Co-Worker's Wife: Ha! Feel free to perform sugery.
Me: Best news I've had all week! I have been begging for someone to allow me to
perform home surgery for over a decade.
And when someone complains of any type of pain or sickness, I've always offered
to kick them in the knee to make them forget about it ... I've had no takers there
either.
This is exciting. I figure years of hospital and serial killer shows should have me
well prepared for any procedure necessary.
Co-Worker's Wife: nice! friday afternoon in house surgery - i love it. let me know if i
should bring whiskey to ease the pain before you operate.
This was followed by a message to my co-worker on our interoffice messenger program:
(10:12) Me: your wife just volunteered to bring whiskey to use as anesthesia for surgery this afternoon. i like her.
(10:18) Co-Worker: tell her not to use my stash
Seriously, most entertaining workplace ever. Happy Friday!
