Avocado Jesus


So, I must confess that I am somewhat addicted to guacamole. Not like my book addiction, but close.

See, for Christmas, The Queen Mother bought me one of those Ninja things. It's like a food processor type deal. I was sorta "meh" about it at first, but a couple of months ago, I had some smoothie stuff and decided to drag it out of the box and give it a whirl.

I made the smoothie and it was okay. But I started flipping through the little booklet and saw a recipe for guacamole. And I thought, "I could do that." So I went through my cookbooks and found a couple of other guac recipes. Then I cobbled together my own, based on the guidelines of the recipes I had found.

I threw the Minion in the car, drove to the store and bought the stuff I needed. I came home and made my first homemade guacamole. And it was so freaking good, ya'll. Like one step away from a religious experience good.

And from then on, I almost always had fresh guac in the fridge. Guacamole because my personal Saviour. I loooove it. And then I started calculating ...

I am making guac by the quart. Yes, POF does eat some. But for the most part, it's all me polishing off almost a quart of guacamole in 3-4 days. And I tabulated and figured I am eating about 3/4 cup of guac a day, on average.

And then I wondered ... how much is too much? Avocados are supposed to be really good for you. And all the produce I am using is fresh, half of it organic. Tomatoes are good for you, garlic is good for you. An entire race of people eat cilantro by the bushels, so it's got to be good for you too. I assume. They haven't died out or anything, so at the very least it isn't detrimental to your health. But is 3/4 cup of guacamole a day so much that it's bad for me?

I panicked. And I went cold turkey. For almost 3 weeks I have been guac free.

Then, today, as I pushed my cart through the produce aisle, there they were - whispering my name. So I bought the ingredients and came home to make some guacamole.

And Oh My God, How I Have Missed You, My Lovely Green Concoction.

POF was getting ready to head out the door to practice with one of his bands. And I was practically orgasmic licking the spoon. As he walked through the kitchen, I paused long enough to inform him that I was pretty sure I was emotionally cheating on him with guacamole.

His response, without missing a beat: That's okay, I've been doing the same to you with beer for years.

And that is why I love him oh so much.

Now I am counting down the minutes till dinnertime. Cause whatever I eat, it will be consumed with a side of guacamole. Oh yes it will.