Same meanness, new year

So .... several more months have gone by, and still I haven't written anything. I really need to make more effort. I had a total stranger tell me recently that my writing was a gift and I should use it. Hmmmm. For good or for evil? That part I didn't clarify.

What's new at the Haus of Eville? Well .... The Minion is growing like a little evil weed. He is Star Wars obsessed and knows all the characters. Our house looked like the Star Wars toy aisle exploded on Christmas morning. He's talking up a storm, saying the funniest things that keep us laughing all the time. He has these dimples that are EVIL, and he basically controls the household with his tiny dictator ways. You know, the usual.

And a new year is upon us. The final year of all years, apparently. So, since we have another apocalype approaching (years of Whedon have prepared me for just such an occurrence), I thought I might take a minute to think about the things I have learned this past year, and what evil deeds I can work on in this final year of existence.

The most significant thing I guess would be the ending of a 20+ year friendship by Facebook defriending. That was, well, interesting. I mean, for a second I felt like I was about 14 again, and that was just retarded in all kinds of ways. So, I let the friendship go. And you know what I realized? It wasn't really a friendship anymore anyway. I lost nothing from that defriending except the stress and anxiety of dealing with the friendship itself. Yay me.

I realized that basically, we'd remained friends just out of habit. Because we'd been friends since junior high (yes, back then it was junior high - middle school be damned!), and I was so deeply intertwined with her family. I love her family. And I still send her parents cards for birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc. I saw her mom briefly right before Christmas. But that was it, and that was fine. I feel no need to justify my actions or explain my reasons. It was done, moving on, we are both better for it. I don't hate her. Never will. I just don't have a place in my life for her anymore. And truthfully, I don't fit in hers. She doesn't hang with my friends, I never even really met hers. We existed in that shared best friends in high school bubble when together, and that was basically all I had to talk about. I realized recently that she probably thought I was one of those weird people who obsessed about high school and all the people then, and where they were now. And I probably did come across that way. Because, truth is, that's all I had to talk about with her. Sad, but true. So, I had to realize that friendships don't always last forever, and it's okay to let them go.

Now, our 20 year class reunion is coming up this year. And that should make it even more intersting. Will we talk to each other? Will we be nice? Rude? Even care? Truth is, we live in the same town, and have yet to actually run into each other. In almost a year. I am sure we will eventually. And who knows, maybe we've both been at Target at the same time and just not crossed paths. Or maybe she's seen me and gone the other way. It's possible. And when we do inevitably run into each other, it will be interesting to see what happens. But I know that I don't plan to be fake about it, and I am pretty sure she won't either. So either that will mean we make eye contact, say nothing, and pretend we don't know each other, or we will say hey and move on and pretent we don't really know each other. And that's ok.

I also learned that I am one lazy person. I hate exercise. I really, really do. I forced myself into it, and after a while it became a habit, and that was good. Then sickness hit the house for a couple weeks and it all went to hell. We haven't been to the Y in over 2 months. And boy can I tell. The pants that were loose are getting snug again. I want to exercise, my body needs it. Yet, it is so damn hard to make myself get up at the crack of dawn and do it. I know that after I do it once, it will get easier. But that first time is a bitch.

I have two precious pups that are getting old. My sweet boy has a heart condition, so we've known for some time that that makes his time morelimited. But now he's starting kidney failure. Granted, lots of animals can live for years before total kidney failure takes them. But still. It's hard to know when is the right time. Right now he's relatively healthy, we are giving him special food that he loves, and he's on all kids of supplements. But eventually, things won't be so positive and we've got tough decisions to make. I dread it. My baby girl isn't doing much better. She has disk problems in her back that are perpetually aggravated by her death defying jumping stunts. Plus she's almost blind now. And she has arthritis in her back legs. She hobbles. But she's otherwise healthy and seems happy. Again, it's tough to know when to say when. If it's up to me, it's never. I will have little Darth Vader dogs running around. I'm already working on the prototype for their suits.

Also, old dogs equal incontinence. Every time I turn around, one of them is peeing or pooping on something. Pee pads? They laugh at pee pads. They will drop a dinosaur sized poop right NEXT to the pee pad. And then walk through it and track it through half the house. Some days I want to scream and wring their little necks. But I clean it up. And I say a little prayer of thanks that I have had them in my life for over a decade, and ask for just a little bit more time. I love them so much. Yes, they are dogs. But they are MY dogs. And they are my babies. And I can't imagine my life

without them. So there.

(This was supposed to be a photo of a weenie

dog in a Darth Vader costume. But then I

found this. It's much more hilarious)

Family is a funny thing. I love my family. And POF's family. We are all crazy and unpredictible and unique, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Well .... maybe a few things. But no one's offering, so I guess they stay around. I noticed the other day that we always keep things separate. My mom's side of the family, my dad's side of the family, and POF's family. This year I am toying with having a big party for the Minion's birthday. We had all POF's family here this year for the first time the for Thanksgiving and Christmas and The Minion loved having all his cousins to play with. Doing this would mean smushing my family together with his, and potentially with each other. For basically the first time. That makes me nervous.

I realize that I am very much a compartmental person. Each relationship has a compartment. Some compartments open into others, and some just do not. Ever. Maybe things will be fine, and it's just me and my worries that has kept things separate for so long. Or maybe there will be a brawl and the cops will come. It could go either way I suppose. I'm still thinking about it, still not sure. But I think it could be great if I let it. If I could control all elements. Which, of course, I can't.

It comes down to this ... if I have a big party somewhere, my mother will want to come. And if I do a big party somewhere, that means inviting my dad and that side of the family. I have not had my mother and father together in a room since ... well, since I was a kid. I try to avoid it. I don't want to experience it. But maybe that's just me, and everything would be cool. I don't know. But just thinking about it makes me kinda hyperventilate a little bit. See, last year we had two parties. One for just us (with mom's side of the family), and then one for friends and dad's side of the family. Now I'm throwing POF's family into the mix too. It's chaos. And it makes me itchy. And twitchy. Maybe I need medication.

And now it's time to wrap this up. The Minion has decided that I've spent enough time doing something that does not include, or directly benefit, him. Hopefully it won't take me another 4 months to come back. Maybe 2012: The End of the World is the year I will blog weekly. Or bi-weekly even. You never know. It will be a surpise to me too.

The post that caused a FB defriending and the end to a friendship that really hadn't been a friendship for many years ... and other bullshit that probably pissed some people off.

Somehow the summer has passed and I haven't written a damn thing. Not that I haven't seen PLENTY to want to write about ... I just haven't actually done it. And then there's the whole what if I write something and then that person sees it and gets mad. I don't really want that to happen for the most part. So I've been quiet. But today I feel like writing. So here goes.

I haven't spoken to a friend of mine in three months now. For a while there we saw each other daily. I love her dearly, but being with her is work. Really hard work. Always worried about what I am saying and how she is going to take it, and oh God what if she takes it the wrong way and gets all wounded and shit. It's taxing. And I can only do that for so long before I just don't give a shit anymore and bail. Wrong? Probably. But there is and has always been drama with her, and sometimes it's either stay away or speak my mind. Speaking my mind has never gone well with her.

Now, in the past three months, there has been drama. I get the general highlights from the whole social network thingy, but honestly I don't really care. I am so over it, I don't even want to know about it. Cause then I'd want to comment. And it's just not worth throwing my two cents in. I have enough of my own shit to worry about. I so do not have time to worry about hers. Will we ever talk again? I assume so. We live in the same city, so there's bound to be that awkward grocery/department store meeting at some point. Am I really that worried about it? No.

I've been to several things lately with my kid. And let me tell you, the lack of parental supervision amazes me. There are not school age kids here. These are kids that are age 2-4. How these parents can go to a bouncy castle type place, playground, swimming pool, etc. and just turn their kid loose without even paying attention to what they are doing or where they are amazes me. They probably think I am the crazy overprotective mother who is attached to her kid's hip. That's fine with me. No way I am letting my kid run loose in a public place with no supervision. Especially when a swimming pool is involved.

I encountered a 4 year old the other day that can only be described as a Mean Girl waiting to happen. Her mother told her to stop doing something, and she actually responded with "You don't tell me what to do!". And the mother dropped the subject and acted like that was just totally normal. And all I could think was that if that had been my kid, I would have jerked her up and busted her ass in front of God and everybody for talking to me like that. Then again, the same mother gave her infant a pen to play with and I had to take the cap away when she almost swallowed it. The mother was more concerned about finding the pen that about the fact that her kid could have died trying to eat part of it. Amazing.

I still try to ignore politics because people have apparently gone insane. I remember a time when the political parties had different agendas but for the most part were pretty close to center and could even agree on stuff. Now it seems like both parties are all extreme to one side or the other and would rather gnaw off an appendage than agree with the other party on anything. And it pisses me off when all these people blame Obama for the crappy state of this country. Like he drove it straight into the shitter himself. Okay fine. Maybe some of the things he's done while in office haven't exactly helped like we hoped, but he inherited this mess, he didn't create it all on his own. The fact that people seem to conveniently forget stuff that has happened in the past just makes me want to scream.

I saw a FB post the other day bitching about Obama that was quoting all these stats about how good it was before he took office. It said something like gas was under $3 a gallon - just this whole list of stats. And I looked at it and was like ?????? That wasn't that long ago, and I remember gas being over $4 a gallon then. It amazed me. Someone actually called this person on it and posted the actual stats for that year. I was so happy to see that. Usually people just repost stuff and don't even pay attention to it. I am all for speaking out about something if you disagree - that's part of what makes up our country. But don't just spout out political nonsense without checking your facts first. Ignorance makes me crazy. And people just get plain stoooopid when it comes to politics. It's not about truth at all. Ugh.

A good friend has been going through some stuff lately, and I've been a sounding board. And as I hear more and more, I get really irritated because I thought this was one of the good guys, and now I am starting to feel like he's a real ass. And I wonder if he's always been a total douchebag and I just didn't see it, or if there's more to it besides what I've been told. I hope that it's the latter. I really hope he gets himself into a better place and starts treating his family better. Everything isn't about you, the world doesn't revolve around you, and you shouldn't deny or approve stuff for you kids just because you did or didn't have it when you were a kid. It's cool if you have issues. Just man up and take responsibility for them. See a doctor, get some medication. Hell, see a therapist and work some shit out. But stop being such a jerk to the people that love you and put up with you on a daily basis. Jeez.

We are trying to get geared up to potty train. The Minion is sorta interested, but kinda not. And I am just dreading it so much that I am not pushing it at all. I just want to wake up and have him potty trained. Since that's not gonna happen, I considered gating him into the kitchen with newspapers all over the floor like a puppy. But I bet that would get me into all kinds of trouble. We have pull-ups and a potty and a potty seat for the big potty. He's just not quite there yet. My goal is to have him trained by age 3, so we've got time.

I asked him the other day if he would like it if Mama had a stroller with a baby in it, and he informed me that HE was the baby. I would like to have another kid next year, so that should be fun. Ah, sibling rivalry.

And on that note, I have to go change a diaper of stinky poop. One of the many joys of motherhood here at the House of Eville.

It's Cicada time in TN

If you live in my area, you know that it is basically impossible to walk outside these days and hear yourself think. The cicada invasion that happens every 13 years is in full swing, and man, those ugly little buggers are LOUD. The evil weenies love them as a snack though, and that adds yet another level of gross.

If you don't know what a cicada is ... well, bless your innocent little heart. It's like a locust and it had these creapy orange-red eyes. For some reason, most of the ones I keep seeing in my yard have some seriously jacked up wings. I don't know what that's all about, but it sorta makes me feel sorry for the little buggers. I mean, you are basically hibernating for 13 years and then get to crawl out into the world and live for a couple of weeks or so before dying. That's a pitiful little life. And then to have wonky wings so flying isn't even really possible - sorta cruel.

I generally try to avoid them, but they don't really bother me. I am amazed by how loud they are. And they are really ugly. But generally harmless. I did get preoccupied today with checking my river birch tree for signs of them, and got sidetracked with two different 'couples' involved in the breeding process. I admit, I tried to get a good picture. I couldn't because they were up too high and I needed a ladder to get a good angle with the camera. But I made an effort.

They weren't too pleased with the camera being shoved in their little ugly faces. They were all like "can we have some privacy please?" and "stop shoving that big camera at us". And I was all like, "well then stop having creepy bug sex in my favorite tree!". It was not my proudest moment.

The little bug husks laying scattered all over the ground, crunching under your feet as you walk, is also a little bit disturbing. I know it's just empty shells, but I still feel like a mass murderer.

In non bug related news, POF finally shaved off that crazy horrible beard he had going for way too long. I can deal with the big bushy goatee part - I've survived that before. But when the sideburn part started getting so long that it was sticking out like some sort of weird shrub on his face, it was time for it to go. Luckily he realized this on his own, and was shaving it off at midnight last night. Now he looks all young and fresh faced, and if I keep telling him how cute he is, I am sure he will grow it back just to spite me.

The Minion has discovered Micky Mouse, so Mickey's Playhouse has been added to the rotation. He still watched Thomas, but his latest obsession is Cars, specifically Mater. And Nemo. He LOVES Nemo. I am sooooo tired of Nemo. He also likes Chuggington, which he calls 'chuggy train'. And it's so cute, I just love to hear him say it.

He's talking up a storm and running around causing general mayhem at all times. He adores the dogs and had to be fussed at for picking at them all the time. One of these days he's gonna get bitten, I just know it. Still no potty training yet, though we are getting closer.

My fresh faced man just walked in the door, so it's time to leave this and have a little family time before The Minion goes to bed. He's a night owl like his Daddy and usually stays up till 10. Crazy kid.

I will return soon, with a tale of slithery evil and the giant toad that lives in the garage.

FB observations ... and also, uber religious people and their fake shit pisses me off.

FaceBook is an amazing thing. There are a couple of things I've noticed about the people I live around from FaceBook.

First of all, I live in a relatively small town - a suburb of a city that is still pretty small in itself. I mean, we have an NFL team and a NHL team and all that, but still, we are small time. My high school wasn't huge - I graduated with close to 300 in my class. Nothing to sneeze at, for sure.

Here's the thing. The number of people that went to my high school, and ended up married to people from school ... well, it's freaky. Most of these people didn't even hang out when they were in school. They've connected later in life. It's just strange. Maybe that happens at lots of schools. But it kinda freaks me out. Of course, that could also be because I live just a couple of miles from said school and pass it every day. And see people from school all the damn time - at Walmart, at the grocery store, at the vet, in line at the damn DMV. Weird.

Second thing is the number of people who are just God crazy. Now, don't get me wrong. I have my beliefs and all that. I go to church. But to me, my relationship with God is kinda personal. I have no problem saying that I am thankful or blessed or any of that. And I don't have a problem with the occasional "please say a prayer" deal. But I don't exactly feel the need to quote Bible verses, or post daily about how wonderful God is, blah blah blah.

I know that there are some people out there that really have a passion for their religion. And in a positive way, not in a stockpiling a militia's worth of guns in the basement way. And that's cool. But to me, a lot of the God crazy FaceBook posting seems a little bit too much. A little fake. Cause if there were really that many people out there just totally consumed with Jesus, well, this world wouldn't be such a crappy place. And that pisses me off.

And it gives the people that truly do have a passion a bad rap. For example, my pastor is amazing. His sermons are just so motivating and insightful and fun. He has Passion. And he does some really great stuff in the community, with outreach all over the world. But when you run across enough of the overzealous, trying to make myself look better Jesus lovers, it puts people like my pastor in a bad light. Cause if you don't really know him, you start to question his sincerity. Or the sincerity of anyone like him.

Are they really that into God? Do they really believe that He will take care of all their needs? Or are they just totally blowing smoke up my ass so I don't see what a self-serving, shallow jackass they really are? Smarmy politicians wrap all their little agendas in God fever. If they were really such good Christians, they wouldn't be suggesting half the bullshit they put forth in the first place.

Everyone knows I lean to the left, but I see it on both sides. We need to make cuts, I get that. But what goes first? Funding for education. Funding for social programs. Funding for the elderly and the poor. Really? REALLY? What kind of people does that make us? We want to cut off all avenues of help for the ones that raised us and cared for us as children, and the ones that will someday grow up to lead our country. How is THAT being a good Christian?

But yet, every election year, we get the same speech. Most important things to work for, to support, to see increased ... Education. Social Programs. And we fall for it every time. A slick smile and a good suit and we believe it. Then, elections are over and cuts have to be made. And here we go again. No arts programs for schools - no money. No Head Start programs for at risk neighborhoods - no money. No coverage from Medicare for that life saving medication - no money.

I know abortion is a hot button issue. And I'm not even gonna get into that itself. But the fact is, the government wants to cut abortion funding for the poorest segment of society. In essence, insist that the very people that can least afford to have more children do just that. Then, when they have those children, they have no help because the government has also cut the programs to provide them assistance for food, childcare, health care, etc. It's like here's a punch in the face, with a side of kick to the crotch. Have a nice day.

Not to mention the totally disgusting tactic of threatening to stop military pay if we don't get the budget worked out. These people are doing their jobs. Jobs that put them in danger of DEATH every single damn day in horrible places that none of us would ever want to go to. And you are going to say that they are the first ones that don't get a check?! We have an amendment that protects the paychecks of Congress and the President, but there's no protection for the people that risking their lives to protect that amendment? It just disgusts me. And what about the veterans and the families of the active soldiers? This is their paycheck, their pension. It pays their rent, buys their food, keeps their electricity on. What are they supposed to do?

Okay, fine. It all worked out. Things were resolved and there was no shutdown and people got paid, so drop it. Well, no. For days, a giant segment of this population was in limbo, wondering what they were going to do for days, possibly weeks, without any money. And it was all basically a ploy to get things passed that the politicians wanted passed. How do more people not see how wrong that is?

But wrap it all up in an American flag with a Bible verse over it and America will just eat it up. People are ignorant. They get their information from sound bites on TV and have no idea what the real issues are or what the real fight is about. They get thrown a bunch of religious rhetoric and half-facts and don't bother to find out the truth. It's sad. It's shameful. This is supposed to be the Greatest Country in the World. It's not.

I remember in my high school Latin class, our teacher gave us this handout once that had this description of a country. And as you read it, you thought that it had to be America - first in technology, education, military power, etc. And then as you read further, you realize that it's describing Rome. Before it fell. Before the government collapsed and the country imploded. We are headed for that same fate.

It's not about The People. It's about Money and Big Business. It's backroom deals and hidden agendas. It's scary. And it's frustrating. And I feel helpless to stop it. And that too pisses me off.

(steps off soap box) I need a nap.

The Tiny Terror emerges ... and also, those liberal roots are still peeking out

Hello 2011. I've been away for a while. Doing the life thing. What's new?

Well, the little Minion turned 2. And he is officially Terrible. He is the screaming tantrum king right now. Literally. Right now as I type, he is across the room screaming his little head off about something. It's a good thing I don't drink. Cause I do consider it sometimes.

I know that he's two, and his little brain is still forming, and he just doesn't have the ability to communicate the way he wants right now. I get that. And I am sure it's frustrating. I try to be patient. But sometimes, when the screeching is making whales and dolphins beach themselves in Australia, I really want to wring his little neck. I am hoping that the screaming phase ends before the potty training phase starts. Those two together just might be the death of me.

The Minion is obsessed with a certain train and his friends. It's all he wants to play with and watch. Which is fine I guess. But man, do I get tired of having those goofy songs in my head. If he had his way, we'd have a 24/7 loop of the train movies going. And don't even get me started on the fit he throws if you deny him his fix. It's just crazy.

We are limping along financially. Each month when it seems like there is no way we will be able to keep our heads above water, some miracle occurs and we make it. I'm not sure how many of these miracles we have left in our corner, but I am grateful for each and every one.

The entire world basically pisses me off, so I try to ignore it as much as possible. Which is hard with a husband who loves to surf between CNN, HLN and Fox News. Here are the things that are pissing me off this week:

That former SNL chick saying that the gay kiss on Glee was ridiculous and that two guys kissing was a comedy skit not real life. Serioulsy? I get that some people don't like the whole concept of gay. And it's wrong or it's a choice those people make to be "that way" and it's a sin and God hates them ... whatever. But regardless. Gay people exist. Whether or not we as a people like it, there it is. They are there. And for someone to say that a same sex kiss is comedy and not reality in this day and age, well, it's like saying a black President is a comedy skit and not reality. It's disrespectful and basically invalidates an entire section of the population's feelings. Which makes me very angry. Then again, this chick is all kinds of crazy, and sort of an idiot.

They did a poll and almost two thirds of the Republicans and the Tea Party people were opposed to this whole no fly zone Libya strike thing. Yet in a separate poll asking if they approved of the no fly zone plan, they said they did. So, basically, they are for bombing the shit out of whoever needs it, they just don't like this particular president giving the order. Nothing he does will get their approval. Which is just entirely fucked up.

I am so tired of Charlie Sheen. Good for him, making the crazy work in his favor. I'd love to have a swig of his Tiger Blood cocktail and conquer the world too. But it's getting tiresome hearing about it EVERY SINGLE DAY. We get it. He gave CBS the big middle finger and CBS can't decide if they hate him or want him back. Enough. Give us a crawler update when somebody decides something new.

This is totally not even in the realm of world importance, but has anyone watched the E! show Holly's World? I like Holly, and I can even tolerate her little Hobbit hanger-on Angel. But what the fuck is wrong with that Laura chick? She cannot possibly be that stupid. Everything she says sounds like a really, REALLY bad actress reading off of a cue card - with improper pauses and stuff. It's just strange. I can't stop watching her, trying to figure out what her deal is. Then she said she was making her movie ... Zombie Strippers 2. Okay. Thanks. That totally cleared everything up for me right there. Thanks, Laura. I'll stick to the drama of Swamp People from now on. At least gators aren't trying to act.

I am sure there are more things that make me angry ... probably involving POF at least once a day. But now it's time for me to go check on dogs and toddler. It is WAY too quiet over there on the other side of the sofa.

you really can't go wrong with a mr. hankey christmas decoration

Simon's not quite right ... He was born with a peanut in his head.

Happy Christmas to all!

holiday interlude

The holiday spirit has finally pervaded the Haus of Eville. The tree is up and twinkling ... even though it has about 1/4 the ornaments it usually does, and all of them are plastic or paper or cloth so The Minion doesn't destroy them. No presents under the tree this year - for the same reason.

We went and had pictures with Santa today. The Minion threw an unholy fit and refused to sit by himself, so we ended up with a nice family picture. Doubly nice since POF had agreed to go with us. We have very few photos of all three of us together, so that was a nice bonus.

Then we went and got a pizza and The Minion sat in the booth with POF like a little adult and ate his "peetzee". So damn cute it's just ridiculous.

With a fire in the fireplace, and a weenie dog under the tree, life is good. (Jerry is scared of the evil fire in the fireplace and won't even be in the living room unless I am. Then he hides as far away from the fireplace as possible. Currently, that's on the other side of the room - under the tree - with the couch blocking any possible view of the crackling scariness. He's such a wittle girl sometimes)

And in totally unrelated news, I am waiting on pins and needles for the premiere of The Hasselhoffs this weekend on A&E. It's pretty much guaranteed to be a train wreck you can't look away from, and I can't wait!