I am in a panic. Not
really because my baby is going to the big school, though there is a bit of
that. My panic comes from the fact that
school starts at 7:30. If you kid is not
in their class by 7:30, they are late.
The school literally locks all the doors except the main front entrance
at 7:30. After 7:30, you have to walk
your kid into the office, sign them in, and have them escorted to class. If they have so many tardies, then the
parents start getting in trouble.
The Minion operates on Minion time. The more you hurry him, the slower he
goes. The only way to rush this child is
… I don’t know, because nothing has worked.
He is a master time waster. I can
get him up at 6:30 and he can still manage to find enough distractions so that
we don’t make it out the door before 8:30.
I am freaking out. I
hate being late. It happens almost all
the time now, but I still hate it. It
makes me crazy. For years, if I tell POF
we have to LEAVE at 9, he will be getting into the shower at 8:30. It’s a wonder I haven’t gone crazy just
from. Throw in The Minion’s inability to
be hurried into any damn thing, and it’s a miracle that I don’t have a
permanent eye twitch.
Preschool was less structured on the time frame, less rules,
less schoolish. Now comes the big
school, and I am having mild panic attacks every time I see a new schedule or
rule list. They seem to be endless and encompass
every possible thing in the school.
The class schedule.
Supply list. Cafeteria
schedule. Cafeteria rules. Cafeteria payment options, schedule,
rules. After care schedule and payment
rules. School handbook. PIN codes.
Certain things have to be paid on certain days, in specific ways. You
get this info from here, this info from there. It’s too much for my brain to
take in while also processing that my baby is in fact going to elementary
school.
I actually have a calendar to follow for the after care payment
schedule. They are open on certain
holidays and breaks, but you have to register for those days in advance. So each week there is some sort of note about
registration beginning for a certain date several weeks in advance (election
day, labor day, fall break, inservice days, the day before Thanksgiving, winter
break, etc). It’s complicated and
confusing and Lord, help me not screw this up for my kid.
Tonight is his orientation where we find out which class he
is in, meet his teacher, get any other info we need for next week. He’s excited.
Curious. A little nervous. I am losing my shit. I feel like I need to go into this thing with
a calendar planner, spreadsheets, a few charts, some legal pads for notes, and
a bunch of envelopes to put certain checks in for certain things, all properly
labeled and sealed.
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| School play ... sure, AFTER you sit through this PTO meeting. |
I have already been warned about the PTO. Those three letters strike fear in the hearts
of parents every where. There’s no
avoiding it though. Those cagey bastards
hold the key to getting my kid’s PIN number.
And this number is used for every function in the school. Sneaky.
So, I am forced to join the ranks of the PTO parents. Say a prayer for me.
But next year, the fun starts. First grade, everything has to be labeled
with the kid’s name. And I mean
everything. A 24 count box of crayons …
Yep. Every single crayon has to be
labeled. A 12 pack of markers … You
bet. Label the maker AND the cap,
please. This is the thing that nervous
breakdowns are made of.
And what about next summer.
Dear God, the summer. Preschool
was open year round. Now I have
summer. Where the heck do I put the kid
for the summer?!?!?! Aaaaand there’s
that eye twitch I was wondering about.
Deep breaths. I need a new
subject to dwell on before I end up breathing into a paper bag in my office,
while hiding under my desk.
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