This weekend was full of events.
Saturday morning we were at The Minion’s school for his big
fall festival school fundraiser thingy.
Because I was having a moment of weakness, and truthfully just damn
tired of getting all the stupid emails, I volunteered to do an hour at his
classroom game booth.
I don’t mind doing that sort of thing, when I have the
time. But, I sure do hate the people I
have to deal with. First, let me say
that this is my first official kindergarten volunteer experience. Second, our room mother sucks. Not only did she not tell the volunteers what
the game actually was, she also didn’t mention where it was located. I assumed it would be by the classroom. It was not.
I spent 45 minutes searching for someone (ANYONE) who could
tell me where his class game was. It
took me several volunteers before I was finally sent to a PTO mom with a walkie
talkie, and she pointed me in the direction of another PTO mom with The
Notebook. Notebook Keeper was able to
tell me what the game was, and where it was located. In the courtyard, across from the library … which
was nowhere near his class. I was 5
minutes late.
The mom that was there was cool. There were two senior guys there helping, and
it was actually a fun bean bag toss type deal with an Angry Bird theme. The boys were very sweet with the kids. And one of them had actually played in the
big town rivalry football game the night before, so he was dead on his feet. Yet he still volunteered for the day and
arrived at 9 AM for his duty. Bless his
heart. He is the kind of kid that I hope
The Minion becomes.
My time to leave comes and goes, and no new mom is there to
replace me. Finally, at about 20 minutes after her scheduled shift, she rushes
in, dumps her pre-teen daughter to help me, and then rushes back out saying she
has to find her son first since he thought the game was near the classroom.
Now, at this point I need to take a little side journey
regarding this mom. Follow me, if you
will.
You may remember a Facebook post a while back about a
birthday party where the birthday boy was kind of a dick. Where the mom was actually about 15 minutes
late to her own kid’s party. She was a
flurry of drama in her very fashionable maxi skirt, and I just couldn’t even
deal.
A week later, this same mom made an appearance at another
party. At this party she ranted about
how the party mom not personally addressing her and welcoming her to the party
pissed her off. About how she had to do
EVERYTHING at home and that even when her husband asks if she needs help, she’d
just rather do it herself. Because, obviously, if he can’t look around and see
what needs to be done, why bother. Remember
her? Yeah. A real crazy bitch if I ever encountered
one. So, her behavior here isn’t all
that surprising. Okay, back to the tale.
The son is quite the little shit. But her daughter is fantastic. She jumped right in to help. She is super sweet. I actually feel rather
sorry for her. For those keeping a tally
… she arrived 20 minutes late to her appointed time. Now, she FINALLY reappears another 20 minutes
later. She has approximately 20 minutes
left of her volunteer shift.
Once again, she rushes out the door to where we are, all frantic drama. So so sorry it took so long. She had to find her son, and then she had to
get him fed. But she’s here now, and
thanks so much for staying longer, blah blah fucking blah.
Now. I have several
problems with this. In no particular
order:
You volunteered for a specific time frame. Do not show up late and then vanish again.
You were aware of the time frame. Feed your kid FIRST.
POF saw her leaving initially and her son was
WITH her. They actually went back
outside and he jumped on the bouncies for about 15 minutes, then they spend the
last few minutes walking around the cafeteria looking at the crafts and stuff,
and stopping at the bake sale booth for a treat. Bitch just flat out LIED.
POF said that she had Crazy Eyes and he would stay well away
from her if he was me. I concur. As I said, based on my previous encounters
with her, this wasn’t really a surprise.
But it did really piss me off.
She gets to pat herself on the back for being such a good volunteer mom –
with such a busy schedule – and everyone else gets to clean up her mess and
resist the urge to smack her.
I am sure
there are MANY moms like this at school.
And I am wondering how long I will endure it before losing my shit on
one of them. Time will tell.
Finally, to POF’s credit, he did not say a word, but he did
let her know that he knew she was full of shit.
Apparently she passed him as she was rushing out to “go find her son”. Since he was with The Minion and they were
wandering around, he passed her a few times.
He made sure to make eye contact with her at the bouncies AND in the
cafeteria.
And he was back in a flash at
the game site when he saw her headed that way.
He made eye contact there too, as she was giving her “I had to find him
and feed him” routine. He stared her
down HARD. There was no doubt that she
knew that he KNEW she was spouting bullshit lies. And he made sure that she
knew that he was with me. So, hopefully
she will keep her distance in the future and I won’t have to verbally
disembowel her in public.
After I was finished with my momly duty, we went back home
for a bite to eat and a nap before our evening adventure.
The evening was all about some Halloween fun at The
Hermitage. The Hermitage is a historic
site, the home of President Andrew Jackson.
One night a year they open the plantation up for trick or treating and
other fun stuff. I had never been to the
Halloween event. In fact I haven’t been
there since I was a kid on a school field trip.
I happened to score free tickets, so I figured it was worth checking
out.
We got there and there was a huge line waiting to
enter. And as luck would have it
(sarcasm on), we happened to end up behind a group of 25. The group consisted
of approximately 18 pre-teen girls. All
were in elaborate costumes. Two of the parents that were chaperoning consisted
of a local news station anchor and his wife.
Obviously private school. One of
the other moms had her big fancy camera, and she was so obnoxious with the
photo taking, I was ready to slap her before we even got in the gate.
Okay, Queen of Hearts, give me your best Queen face! Oh, love it!!!
Alright Cleopatra, give me your best Egyptian pose! So great!!!
Come on Miss Pirate, give me your best ARRRGGG! LOVE IT!!!!
And on, and on. It
was so over the top. I swear that woman
filled up a memory chip before we even got to the main part of the night.
As we are standing there in line waiting, the news van for
this anchor’s station pulls up. So of
course he’s all “Oh, what are ‘my people’ doing here?” and goes to check it
out. Here he comes back a minute later,
camera crew in tow.
“Come on girls! Let’s
circle around and say hi to everyone watching the news!!!”
Oh yay. I am trapped
behind this group. And now I might be
shown on the news, totally against my will.
I am beyond thrilled.
We make our way through the gate and manage to get around
them as we head up the path toward the house.
But as we are literally walking up to the first trick or treat point,
they swarm us and another family, totally pushing us aside to get there first. Alright you little Mean Girl bitches, it’s on!
They go in the two house tour groups ahead of us, and I am
hoping that gives them enough time to get a bit ahead so we can avoid
them. No luck. Every stop has a line waiting. We get into the potions line. We are in front of the group,
thankfully.
The set-up was neat.
Three ladies, in period costume, at this long table. Each had three ‘herbs’ in big apothecary
jars. They give a little spiel about how
back then they didn’t have pharmacies and had to rely on home remedies for
things, and explain a little bit about what each of the three herbs were
for. Then they put a tiny spoon of each
into an adorably small mortar and pestle and let the kids crush it up. The results are put into a tiny little vial
with an equally tiny cork stopper. So
cute. The Minion was excited to get a
magic potion.
It is finally our turn and we are with the lady at the very
end of the table. The group of Mean
Girls is slowly starting to crowd around the table, to the point where they are
just about in her lap. She asks
politely, twice, for them to please not crowd.
She’s trying to go through her little speech and is getting distracted
by them.
One interrupts her, right in
the middle of a sentence.
“Hey, is that candy?” (pointing to the plastic cauldron of
gummies next to her)
She stops, looks up. “Yes.
You get a treat for your candy bag after you make your potion.” Prepares
to continue her speech.
“Oh, can I have one now?”, as she is taking one out of the
pot.
“Me too! I want one!” Another hand into the cauldron
And another hand, and another.
At this point, I am glaring at them. I mean, really, could
you be any more rude and obnoxious?! No manners.
The parents looked on. I was
incensed.
Two of the girls from the group had by this point come to
the other side of me, to the lady in the middle of the table, for their
potion. The one next to me looks over,
sees hands in the cauldron, and says, “Oh I want candy!”, and proceeds to reach
ACROSS me and The Minion to get one. I
looked her square in the eye and said “REALLY?” She drew her hand back pretty
quick and looked away.
Ran into this little guy in the Stay-Puft costume several times. Cutest. Thing. Ever.
We finished our potion, then took a stroll through the
garden and ventured over to the hayride line.
We managed to get far enough ahead of them at that point that we had
about 8 people between us and their group in the hayride line. This was enough to ensure some distance from
them for a while.
The Minion loved the haunted hayride. He wasn’t at all scared of the ‘monsters’
that were jumping out at us, and loved the zombies from the cornfield chasing
us. Even when we went through the old barn and fireworks were popping and
people were jumping up from everywhere screaming … he wasn’t impressed. The ten year old boys beside us were losing
their shit.
Afterward we grabbed some popcorn and a big sugar cookie to
tide us over, then moseyed our way around the grounds to get a bit more candy
before leaving. We went to the original
log farm house and walked out to the big porch on the back. The two rooms on each side were set up for
pumpkin decorating, but it was PACKED and I wasn’t going to deal with that
chaos. After playing on the porch area
for a bit, we headed back toward the main house.
If I ever get to build my dream house, I want
a porch like this.
They had a big movie
screen set up and they were showing Halloween movies, so we sat down and
watched about 15 minutes of Frankenweenie. By then it was close to 7 pm, and
they changeover to the more scary stuff for the older crowd was about to
happen. The Minion agreed we needed to
get gone before that happened. It was
fully dark and he was starting to worry about people jumping out to scare
us. So we headed to the parking lot and
made our way home.
I asked him what he wanted for dinner, and he chose
Krystal. Love this boy.
For those not of The South, you may have something similar
in your area known as White Castle.
However let me stress that, while similar, White Castle ain’t got nothin
on a Krystal. They are tiny squares of
deliciousness. Best consumed when
slightly drunk at 3 am, but always good.
We scored our bounty – including a few Krystal Chicks for
variety (little chicken sandwiches, equally yummy) – and headed home. I was fighting a headache pretty seriously by
that point, so I was ready for bed. I
had all day Sunday to rest and recoup. I
STILL have a headache. And I also still
have some serious seething rage about those bratty ass teenage girls. Someone needs to smack some manners into
those little heifers.
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